Tuesday 23 October, 2018
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Ouch: Duterte tells all in butthurt hazing experience

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President Rodrigo Duterte is a tough guy but even he admits that he barely made it through his hazing experience in initiation rites into the fledgling Lex Talionis fraternity in the 1970s.

In a speech before fellow lawyers in the annual convention of the Prosecutors League of the Philippines in Pampanga last April 5, Duterte went through gory details of his hazing which took three days.

“Ako three days ako nag (initiation). Umuwi ako sa Davao. Massive hematoma. Pag tingin ng doktor dito sapwet ko, sabi niya, ‘Dumaan ka ng limang bayot?’,” said Duterte.

“Eh wala talaga. Sabog eh. Kasi… ewan ko sino ‘yung putang ina‘yun gago,” he added.

His masters also forced him to kiss another brod.

“Gusto nila na maghalikan kami ng brod ko, si patay na. Mag-lips-to-lips kayo so panahon noon si Rosanna Roces pati si… ano ‘yung isa? Basta ‘yung panahon na ‘yun. Mag-lips-to-lips kayo ng sige five minutes,” said Duterte.

(Editor’s note: Rosanna Roces was born in 1972 so Duterte was referring to another teenage fantasy of his).

But Duterte refused to touch another man’s lip.
“Sabi ko, ‘Master mamatay ako niyan’. Sabi niya, ‘Talagang papatayin kita’. Sabi ko, ‘Bahala na patayin mo akobasta hindi ako makipaghalikan ng (lalaki),” said Duterte.

Duterte managed to wiggle out of kissing another man by agreeing to kiss a toothless grandma outside the initiation site.

“Eh anong magawa ko? Doon sa Cavite sa labas ng compound, may nagtitinda doon na matanda. Siguro mga 64 years old. Di ba yung maraming pumpkins, mga oranges doon? Kaya anong kaya mo? Sabi ko yun o. O hugasin mo lang. Hugasin mo lang eksibisyonan ko kayo.,” said Duterte.
“Halika maski pangag, walang ngipin, sige,” said Duterte.

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